Many times my foe,
Even more times My friend.
Through out all my life,
Until the very end.

You never thought I listened,
You never thought I cared.
Even though I closed my door,
You still remained there.

Through all of High School,
Through all the tears.
I turned out okay,
After all these years.

The fights, the screaming,
And slamming of the door.
Like every other mom,
You came right back for more.

You told me you loved me,
And that you always will.
You showed me you cared,
Till this day still.

A lot of hard work,
It took to be my mother.
You did it just right,
Like no other.

When I'm older,
With one of my own.
I'll come to you,
The wisest person I know.

I love you mom,
Every seconed I breath,
The memories with you,
Far more then skin deep.

I love You Mom!!!

Since I haven't started working with my new company, I started downloading some movies which I haven't watched in a movie theatre. And some of them are above mentioned subject. Whenever I feel bored, I only used to watch those three movies as I really loved their stories a lot.

With Alvin and The Chipmunks.. I was their fan when I was in my primary school. I used to watch their cartoon stories on TV and watching their movie at this times in the Nth times, proves that I'm still young at heart. Part of me still a kid and missing being little girl. I found the story so funny and loveable, particularly Theodore's character. Aside from finding him so cute.. He's character of being so sweet, too young with everything and so innocent makes him so loveable, especially on the scene were he wanted to go home with Dave.

Bee Movie.. a comedy movie and inspiring as well. Barry B. Benson, a bee who has just graduated from college, is disillusioned at his lone career choice: making honey. On a special trip outside the hive, Barry's life is saved by Vanessa, a florist in New York City. As their relationship blossoms, he discovers humans actually eat honey, and subsequently decides to sue us. Can't say anything more about the movie but I find it good and funny.

Remy, a provincial rat with a wonderful sense of smell, hates garbage and risks death to enter a human kitchen where he discovers real food and the cooking of five-star chef, Anton Gusteau, author of "Anyone Can Cook." On the day Remy learns his hero has died, he is evicted and ends up alone in Paris. By luck, he discovers Gasteau's restaurant, down to three stars and run by a frozen-food-hawking chef. As Remy enters, so does Linguini, a clumsy youth hired as a garbage boy. To save the soup that Linguini accidentally fouls, Remy throws in some ingredients; the soup is a success and Linguini's career as a chef is born. (Written by http://www.imdb.com/SearchPlotWriters?%7Bjhailey@hotmail.com%7D) - a Plot from Ratatouille.

Finding my self watching these movies many times makes me feel I'm still young and part of me still missing being a little girl who just worried of maintaining her grades the way her parents wanted to maintain it.

It is simply just..



Im missing my childhood.. =D

You helped me laugh,
You dried my tears,
Because of you,
I have no fears.

Together we live,
Together we grow,
Teaching each other, 
What we must know.

You came in my life,
And I was blessed.
I love you friend,
You are the best.    
 
The Virtue of Friendship isn't finding the perfect friend,
But by loving the friend perfectly, you'll find the Virtue of Friendship....

Friendship is the cement that will ever hold the world together...
And True Friendship doesn't have a happy ending, it simply doesn't end!!!    

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved inreturn."

It's been a year since the day I lied to someone closes to my heart. I'd really wanted to tell that someone the truth but my friends told me better not confess it coz it doesn't make any sense anyway.. Let it be the way it is right now since no one cares anyway..

I can say that the lie that I've been said was the stupid lie I've said. Nobody got affected into this lie, even that person who is directly involved into this, neither gets affected.  That person doesn't do anything as if nothing's happened.

Nwei, like my friends told me, it doesn't make any reason to reveal it. Doesn't change the situation either. So, just let it be..

But for the people who really knew me, you know how hard it is for me to keep this secret within me. You knew that I'm not well at lies coz you can easily see it into my eyes, actions, words, and you knew that my conscience used to find me. I believe that the worst enemy that you have is your conscience that's why it's hard for me to lie to someone. So I guess you understand how I feel.

And at the end of this entry, I know God allowed me to let those things happens for a purpose if there's any heavy consequence, I know, it'll come and God will let me to face it and undergo with it.

For every wrong doings we've done, there are a certain consequences we have to face and for every sacrifice we have, for sure, there'll be a light in the end.

For all the sorrows and pains,
For all the heartaches and heartbreaks,
For all the unwanted memories that we have
Leave them all behind..

For all the joy in our heart
For all the happines that we have
For all the good things that we've done
Come with us, and be with us in year 2008

Goodbye Pains,
Goodbye sorrow,
I leave you now to 2007

A New Year has arrived...
A New Year for us to make it right..
Welcome 2008!!!
May you'll be a good year to all of us...

God bless us, and all of our plans and heart's desire..

Happy New Year!!!

It only takes 1 hour to break the joy in my heart..
Only takes 30 minutes to break it apart..
Too proud to have them in my life..
But what happened made everything not right.

I can't go back, I can't go out.
I can't moved, and make everything's alright.
What happened is what happened.
I can't do anything just to turn it back.

I missed the laughter,
I missed the fun,
I missed the great friendship,
We've shared and done.

Is it my mistake why these things happened?
Is it my fault why everything changed?
Is it my being imperfection why I'm feeling this way?
I don't know.. I really don't know..

What I'm feeling right now made me different.
What I'm feeling right now made me lifeless.
What I'm feeling right now made me motionless.
What I'm feeling right now is a broken happiness..

At 11 pm, our party for Christmas were started. Since it is a party, expectedly, alcoholic drinks were present. Guys had 2 cases of beer which we knew that it would be enough for them to drink. But before that night, my husband asked the 7 guys if they wanted to drink a tequila or a beer, one of them answered them that 2 cases of beer is enough for them.

Party started and ended at 3 am. I and my husband says our goodbyes to our flatmates at that time, but at 3.30 am, one of them knocks on our room and asked if they can get the tequila. I knew, they were already drunk and I'm having a doubt if I'll give them the bottle or not. I asked my husband's permission, hoping that he will disagree, but I was wrong. I gave the bottle of tequila to them with the worries in my heart.

4 am, I heard them shouting already, doing some crazy things to some of our flatmates. Still, I am worried coz of their being unawared behavior and coz of what their doing. I'm afraid that someone from the building might go to the police and report or place a complain to us. So I stood up from my bed and go to their room, telling them to stop the drinking, coz their couldn't control their behavior.

Not less than 5 minutes, they started again, laughing, shouting without any control of what their doing. I get pissed, so, I go back to their room and take the bottle that I gave.

I don't know how long the silence takes but for sure it wasn't a more than 10 minutes when once again, someone knocks at our room. Again, they were asking the bottle which I took to them.

Hoping that they will understand me, I carry the bottle with me, go to their room and trying to negotiate. Of course, what to expect to all the people who are drunk? You can't expect them to listen to you and talk to you properly. I've seen some of the ladies sitting there and doing nothing. I hope they've done something to lessen the noise. But because of how they talked to me, I just leave them the bottle and go, leaving them saying "If i heard any noise again, we'll see what happened next".

12 pm on the same day, I stood up, but the madness that I have still here in my heart. And same day, a new lady will transfer to our home. Before this day, one of her friends called me and asked me if the lady could carry a cabinet with her. I told to her friend that if she'll buy a cabinet, i really dont know where it will be placed as the ladies' room are already been filled up by their things and honestly, I dont want to put big things on our hall. I also said to her friend that from the first time they've talked to me, they are aware that there is no placed for the cabinet, and they are agreed o it.

So that 12pm, she arrived at home with lot of things. I didnt got the chance to look at those things on our hall cause I am still mad on to what happened earlier that day.

Time passed... Her friend called me and suggested something regarding the cabinet. Unintentionally, I didn't replied them nicely. I havent got the chance to compose or to deliver my answers in a nice way. Directedly, I told them not to talk to me regarding that matter as I am not leaving inside the room. They can ask people inside the room who's sleeping their. 

Minutes passed. I was informed that she'll leave... I was wondering why.. and one of MY friends told me that maybe because of the cabinet and my husband told me maybe because of how i delivered my answers to them because of that cabinet. 

I feel guilty coz I knew that the reason why she leave is because I didn't treat her nicely on the first day, knowing that she didn't do anything wrong to me. But surely, I didnt mean anything to replied her that way.

I waited for the right time to talk to the lady's friend, when I finally got the chance, I've talked to one of them. I asked an apology to them and extend my apology to the lady for being impolite that day morning. I even explained why I replied them that way but she replied me impolite as well that made my heart break into pieces.

I don't know.. maybe because she was also get mad at me because of how I replied them? But I already said my sorry to them. Even though.... Damage has been done..

I know we cant please people according to what we wanted, that's why she acted that way... but really, I didn't not mean to be impolite to them.. I didn't mean to talk to them that way or to deliver my reply so blunt without thinking that it was mixed with the madness that I felt earlier.

Honestly, until now, I am still thinking if I am really a bad person?  I knew I was wrong to let my temper be felt by someone who is not included to what happened on that 3.30 am.

I do really feel sad today, knowing that most of our bed spacers are mad at me..

**SIGH**

I'm having a mixed feeling tonight..When I found out that I am not pregnant, my world falls down into pieces... Shattered and cant explain why i really feel devastated...

Me and My Husband were waiting and expecting this baby... We are married for 7 months and keep on trying to have a baby. Followed our friends' advises. I resigned from my work as I am having a too much pressure and thinking that one of the reasons why we're not having a baby is because I am so stressed from my work. I am off at my work since November 30, 2007... But still, nothing's happen.

I was actually delayed for 3 days today, and we claiming that "YES!! I AM PREGNANT!" and looking forward to upcoming days but night comes and here I am, facing at my computer, writing a blog and having a deep depression..

Whenever I saw my husband, whenever I look at him while he's sleeping, though he says "OK", I know, deep inside of him, is a feeling of sadness and regrets.. If I could only do something.. If I could only wipe and wash away the distressed he's feeling, I will.. but reality says I CANNOT.

But of course, at the end of this line, I know, God has it's reason behind.. What it is??? I dont know... I may not know tonight or tomorrow or on the coming days but soon, He'll tell and show me why...

And as I always pray and lifting up to him.. "GOD , I AM JUST YOUR PASSENGER AND YOU ARE MY DRIVER... WHATEVER PLANS YOU HAD MADE FOR ME AND MY HUSBAND, FOR OUR FAMILIES, I LIFT THEM UP TO YOU LORD... WHATEVER HEARTS DESIRES WE HAVE IN OUR HEARTS, BLESS IT OH LORD.. HOLD OUR HANDS TIGHTER AND DONT LOOSEN IT UP... CONTINUE TO TOUCH OUR HEARTS AND STRENGTHEN OUR FAITH. WE LIFT EVERYTHING TO YOU OH LORD, OUR GOD, OUR SAVIOR, OUR PROTECTOR AND OUR GUIDE "

Held in Grand Moove Hotel on 03^rd August 2007

Within my two years in service with Singles For Christ, the above subject was the only teachings that I used to refused whenever SFC inviting us to attend the teaching. Maybe because I'm not yet ready and so afraid the reality, my truth in way of handling my finances.

But after two years, when our PFO, Ate Chai, invited us to attend the Financial Stewardship, without hesitation, I was excited and looking forward to it. Maybe (again) because, I am now ready. And I thought, this is my time to attend the teaching and not to be afraid of whatever the speaker says.

FS started.. Since I was the projectionist of Chapter 2, I was seated on the right front corner of the room (actually, I was the only person seating on the first row) near to the speaker.

I've learned lot of things from the teaching and I was so inspired with the sharers who shared their blessings with the community and the other people by means of tithes and love offering. I was moved by their stories and decided to continue sharing my blessings.

I might not be giving my share as tithes but I can share my blessings, for now, as love offering.

Sharing my blessings doesn't mean am asking or expecting something in return..

Sharing my blessings is what I believe, I actually loved..

I don't know what it is that makes me love you so
I only know I never want to let you go
'cause you've started something
Oh, can't you see?
That ever since we met
You've had a hold on me
It happens to be true
I only want to be with you

It doesn't matter where you go or what you do
I want to spend each moment of the day with you
Oh, look what has happened with just one kiss
I never knew that I could be in love like this
It's crazy but it's true
I only want to be with you

You stopped and smiled at me
And asked if I'd care to dance
I fell into your open arms
And I didn't stand a chance
Now listen honey
I just want to be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together, honey, I don't care
'cause you've started something
Oh, can't you see?
That ever since we met
You've had a hold on me
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you

Oh, oh, you stopped and you smiled at me
And asked if I'd care to dance
I fell into your open arms
And I didn't stand a chance
Now hear me tell you
I just want to be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together, honey, I don't care
'cause you've started something
Oh, can't you see?
That ever since we met
You've had a hold on me
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you
I said no matter, no matter what you do
I only want to be with you  I Only Want To Be With You

From Today's Didache Reading

"Do not be saddened this day..." - Nehemiah 8:10

I just finished reading In His Steps and Didache for this day, and I was touched by the sharing story from Didache, entitled, SCOOPS of LOVE..

It's about a little boy who silently cried when his jealousy relatives pushed him and made him drop the one scoop of ice cream bought by his Dad when someone touches his head. He looked up and it was his Dad who came back and bought him another scoops of ice cream, 3 scoops of it.

As reflection, I suddenly think of my past where I lose a scoop of blessings.. Blessings in a lot of ways, which I never regret coz look at me now, God gave me better life than before.

I just have to let anything that precious to me and let God took it away from me, coz I know, in time, in HIS perfect time, he'll return it to me in two, three or more than times fold.

The reading/sharing simply implied that God might take away things from us, could be precious or important, could be something or someone.. BUT we shouldn't be sadden, we shouldn't be so depress, distress, or even upset as HE will give us those things to us in more than we could think of.

Be faithful and keep on trusting HIM as HE will never and never let us be in despair.

Lift things up to him, and let HIM do the rest.

Today's Reflection:
 "Did you lose a scoop of blessing? Then let God give you a gallon of His Love!"

One year had been passed since the last time we've talked..
We ended up smoothly and we're still friends no matter what our past is..

But out of the silence..  
We were ended up the way that I could never think of.
More pain than before..
Full of hurt and full of ache..

I've been disturbed from my silence..
But what can I do?
I can't do anything into this matter..
But only to wait the day that I totally forget you again..

I've come to an end where my life gets affected.
I've face the trials where I know I have been failed.
End, where my patience was tested.
Failed because I burst out my temper.

I'm carrying this baggage for how many weeks.
Baggage that I consider my burden from this past few weeks.
I tried to let it go like a rain, and let the sunshine comes my way.
Thought it was that easy to let these things just fade away..

But things happened for a reason..
Things were there with a purpose..
And though I failed from HIS trial,
I do still thank HIM for putting me unto it.

As time passes by, I came to realize "why" I have to come to my end..
"Why" I reacted that way..
"Why" I have failed..
And "why" GOD put me on that trial..

HE made me "more" better person than before..
HE gave me more patience than what I have..
More understanding and more controlled..
Free from anger and free from lies..

Without that trial,
Without that test,
Without those people,
I am NOT what I am right NOW..

Bad things happened,
Good things comes..
Things were settled..
And nothing to worry about..

~ Repost ~
18.08.2007 - 1:01 pm 

I don't understand why I am feeling this way,
Fear and anxious on what I have learned.
I thought you're a kind of person that simple and true,
But all of those thoughts were not that true.

I am not mad on what I have learned..
As it was part of your past that I have to absorbed.
But how many revelations I have to face,
For me to get worried and to make my life change.

You accepted me for who I am and what I have,
And I am going to accept you too for whatever you left behind...
I was hoping for you to tell me the truth,
For who you are and what you have on the times that I am not on your side...

Related Links: Ang Aking Sentimyento (Tagalog Version)

Never been in this situation in my whole life...
Never been so depressed as deeply as I am right now..
Catch me.. I'm fallen out of the ground..
Hold me.. Before everything turns around..

I'm dying inside with the words you spoken.
Eating my pride just to keep things even..
Putting aside the words you utter,
Even in return, I'll be the one who'll going to suffer..

Trying to control myself,
Tying to be fine,
Trying not to be upset,
Just to keep everything alright..

But I cannot hide the pain,
I cannot keep it either..
You really got me hurt,
With the mean words you've said...

 to be continued...

I have been into past where I wish I wouldn't be..
Full of Pains, full of hurts with those people who really upset me.
I have been into a certain situation where I wish it doesn't happen,
Revenge, vengeance, reprisal were the actions I have taken..

Past is Past, never go back..
Let it be, let it go, let it burn,
And never look back..

Be happy with what I have..
Be joyful with what I am now..
Asking for HIS guidance,
To lead me and go on with my life..

Oh, God, help me to let it go..
Help me to let it be..
Learn to leave it behind,
and learn to live happily

Help me to forgive myself,
Help me to forgive them as well..
Please stay besides me,
As I always pray..

Thanks to my Ninong Arman forgiving me an advice.
Thanks to you for enlightening my mind.

The first time I saw you, I see joy in you..
Full of laughter, full of mirth,
And a big smile that reflects in you.
As days turns to night and night turns to day,

Waiting for a surprise that comes from your way.
Day by day, time to time,
I always got the chance to be on your side.
Hey! You're a kind of friend, who always cares,

And a kind of friend, who will always be there.
In times of trouble, in times of laughter,
Without hesitations, you were there to help.
How lucky I am to be your friend,

Now that I know, I will always be cared.
You made me cry, you made me laugh,
With your stories and jokes that makes me fine.

Washing my tears away,
Keeping me smile every day,
Thank God!
That's all I can say..

Thank you Lord for a gift of friendship,
Thank you Lord for this priceless gift.
A friend that I always have,
And a friendship that I can keep until the end...

Grabe!!! Parang wala sa ayos..
Pero mah friend! Para sa kaalaman mo, mula ito sa puso ko!
Walang halong biro, walang halong panloloko,
Totoo po ang lahat ng nasasaad dito

The first secret - the power of THOUGHT

Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about others and ourselves. If we want to love someone, we need to consider his or her needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help you recognize her when you meet her.

The second secret - the power of RESPECT

You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect, ask yourself, What do I respect about myself? To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself, what do I respect about them?

The third secret - the power of GIVING

If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself, freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. Before committing to a relationship, ask not what the other person will be able to give to you, but rather what will you be able to give them. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong, loving relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.

The fourth secret - the power of FRIENDSHIP

To find a true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each other's eyes, but rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone completely you must love him or her for who they are and not for what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.

The fifth secret - the power of TOUCH

Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.

The sixth secret - the power of LETTING GO

If you love something, let it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was. Even in a loving relationship, people need their own space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions. Today I let go of all my fears, the past has no power over me - today is the beginning of a new life.

The seventh secret - the power of COMMUNICATION

When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: I Love You. Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word - it could be the last time you see him or her. If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to the people you loved, who would you call, what would you say and why are you waiting?

The eighth secret - the power of COMMITMENT

If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it, and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the TRUE test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.

The ninth secret - the power of PASSION

Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone; it comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be re-created by re-creating past experiences. When you felt passionate spontaneity and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same; all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

The tenth secret - the power of TRUST

Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Without it one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and the other person feels trapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love someone completely unless you can trust him or her completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. One of the ways you can tell whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself, Do I trust them completely and unreservedly? If the answer is no - think carefully before making a commitment.

Today is Monday and I really do feel sluggish! I dunno why, maybe because I wasn't in the mood today or maybe because I was hanged by someone this afternoon.

Have you ever felt that someone rejected you for not knowing the real reason why? For the second and third time by the same person, what would you feel of being rejected? What do you think of this "once my resolve is formed, it cannot be changed" even she loves you and you still love her"?

I was hanged and left with that shade, thinking the possible reasons that makes this guy decided to stick from what he resolved even in return is the lost of her.

Was deciding to go to other country could be enough reason of being hurt even the reason of leaving is for her family? Or being informed that the girl you loved was baffled and confused with her feelings with her boyfriend and her best friend?

Actually, the girl was me and the man I was talking was the "first" man whom I decided to live with till the rest of my life. But because of I was confused with my feelings with my best friend, he got affected but yet I saved the relationship, I chose him because I loved him but in the later part, he leaves me after finding out that I am still decided to go to other country for my family.

Do you think there's a justice from that decision? After the break up, I may say that I became miserable in life.. Not serious with my studies, having low remarks in college changing my life style and everything were messed up as I was thinking that no one would ever take me seriously. I was involved in different problems but still, I am waiting for him to catch me but he failed me.

I am still waiting and looking forward that at the finish line, he is there waiting for me.. That thinking, that hopes, ends when I met my husband. Temporarily, moments with him and that hope, lost until January 2007 came, he visited me in my dreams, continuously, again, I go back to what I was hoping until I decided to let it go..

As I've said earlier, May 26, 2007 is the day where he stops visiting me in my dreams as I sign that I already let him go. But honestly, I wasn't moved by that shade and the book wasn't closed as how I wanted to be closed.

Hope someday, somewhere, he could tell me the reason why.. and somehow, the chapter of our book may be closed according to how it should be closed...

Hello my friend, we meet again
It's been awhile, where should we begin?
Feels like forever
Within my heart are memories
Of perfect love that you gave to me
Oh, I remember

When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice

We've seen our share of ups and downs
Oh how quickly life can turn around
In an instant
It feels so good to reunite
Within yourself and within your mind
Let's find peace there

When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice

I just want to say hello again
I just want to say hello again

When you are with me I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
Cause when you are with me I am free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice, My sacrifice

I just want to say hello again
I just want to say hello again

My sacrifice.

 I've spent half my life looking for
the reasons things must change
And half my life trying to make them stay the same
But love would fade like summer into fall
All that I could see was a mystery
It made no sense at all

The will of the wind
You feel it and then
It will pass you blowin' steady
It comes and it goes
And God only knows
You must keep you sails on ready
So when it begins get all that you can
You must befriend the will of the wind

I've spent so many hours thinking
'Bout the way thing might have been
And so many hours trying
To bring the good times back again
And so it goes for lonely hearted fools
They let their days just slip away
Until they give into

Chorus

So when it begins get all that you can
You must befriend the will of the wind

As usual.. I missed someone from my past and I really can't even help myself not to think of him nor to keep bringing back our past!

The first time I saw him was on year 1998. He's my classmate in my first sem in my first year in college. A friend of my friend then became my friend and became my boyfriend.

I remember when the first time he says he likes me, using the word "tape" just to express his feelings. Funny aiyt? I was looking for love songs in a cassette tape that time, and he is one of the people I asked to. Out of no where, he replied me this, "I don't have a love song cassette tape but I have my other tape." Through curiosity, I ask him what tape he has, and he replies me, "Tape kita". In English translation, he used tape as an equal meaning of TYPE where similar meaning of crush or like in most of Filipinos.

Without taking it seriously, he started courting me with my conditions that I wanted to be courted at home not outside home. I even asked my mom's permission if he could come at home to court me. My mom just can't believe that someone's admiring me on almost first month of my first sem on my first year in college.

August 07, 1998 - after 3 months of courting, I finally gave him my yes to him.

My very "first" serious relationship that last for almost 3 years. Lots of precious moments to be kept and I may say some sad stories and problems also been shared.  It was nearly our 3^rd year when the relationship finished. I was planned to leave our home country after college where he really disagrees, and for that reason, he left me.

Year 2001, Month of May, a year after, again, I met him... He was my classmate on my Thesis A. My "first subject" on my first sem in 4^th year. I thought after the break up, I would never see him again. I thought, there's no feelings to be shared again but I was wrong, after seeing him on my first day in school, I decided to make my first move, my first move to bring him back, to bring our relationship back but it ends to nothing.

Year 2002, Month of March, again, our path crossed once more. I wasn't expecting to share my last days in college with him. But still, after those happy days being with him, ends to nothing.

Year January 2003, I left our home country, without looking back the past. I am carrying my future plans with the only angel in my life.

13 December 2004, an email came to me from him. A forwarded email that gives way to have an update to each other, giving way to open again the closed chapter of my book with him until 07^th October 2005, 5 days before his birthday, again, I lost him, he stopped communicating with me and he's gone without saying goodbye to me.

2007 comes from January until the Month of May, I used to see him in my dreams.. I used to hear the songs we used to sing, the "song" that makes me remember of him. I used to open my emails hoping that he emailed me but nothing was there, I was troubled and bothered for no reason why.

May 26, 2007 - He stops visiting me in my dreams maybe because it was the day I surrender myself to someone i love aside from him.

Then 18^th July 2007, Wednesday.. When I tried to open my YM in my email add, adding me up from a familiar name surprised me.

And now, reminiscing the past with him, reading the email we had, makes me feel sad.. yet happy coz after all those years that goes by, I still have you, though not as what I dreamed of but a friend that always there for me and "never let me down".

Missing you..

Today afternoon, I received an e-mail from a friend from the SFC (Singles For Christ) Community and it is a story of a wife losing her feelings to her husband.

I was touched by the story and left by a simple but striking message.

LOSING the ROMANCE

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before,
has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love. One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

"Why?" he asked, shocked. "I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times.

My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can't even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him?

And finally he asked me:" What can I do to change your mind?" Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have

started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : "Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let's say, I want
a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?"

He said :" I will give you your answer tomorrow...."

My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table
near the front door, that goes....

My dear,
"I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further.."

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

"When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help
to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs.   So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand... and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face...

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do. .. I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. "

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting... and as I continue on reading...

"Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread

and fresh milk...

I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread...

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in
between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form... flowers, and romantic

Moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... and that's our life...

Love, not words win arguments...

Yesterday evening, a friend asked me if I had read her blog. Since I am not aware of her updated bolg, I read it. It titled, FINISH LINE. It tackling about your CHOICE, where she says that Happiness is a matter of choice.

Well, each one of us has its own choice. We are given some options to choose, if you're going to have the right way or the left way, or if you wanted to stop and go back or to go ahead and continue.

At the end of this blog, let me leave a simple reminder.

"For every choice we made, always remember that there are consequences waiting. Might be bad, might be good, depends on the choice we chose".

God Bless!

Why's life like this? Whenever you feel secured and contented, someone or something will come up to clatter your peaceful and happy life!

Most of my friends were battling in this kind of situation; even I got into this. Making our mind confused and our life bothered and keep asking ourselves "why??". But for sure, there's a reason why they showed up! Everything has its own reason.

Maybe, God is testing our faith and our loyalty to HIM or to someone we loved.

Maybe, He's testing our strength in facing the situation.

Or maybe, He wanted to show or to say something to us.

Long time ago, I've been in this kind of situation where in fact, someone came along from my peaceful life. I thought, the reason why he came is because he is a God's Gift to me. But I was wrong, God's keeps on bringing him back to me, just to know how courageous I am and to test if I already learned from whatever mistakes I've done. God also wanted me to realize that I have to let him go as he never meant for me. Don't hold on to what I want coz God has better plans to what we want.

Lately, again, he tested me and my faith to him and to someone I loved, to be exact my Hubby. Someone came along to spoil my passive life. He came with an intension to interfere to my married life - my happy, pleased, blissful married life. I don't want to go in detailed but I was so grateful of having them, MY GOD, MY G and MY TRUE FRIENDS, to be there without me saying anything about what happened. I thank all of them coz I've passed the test! Though part of the situation almost fails me but because I've got them, HIM our God, and my love to someone, it never allows me to get failed.

Indeed, God has his own ways of testing us.

So for all the people who are in this kind of situation, pause for a while, think and pray. Ask for God's guidance to show you the right way and give you the gift of discernment.

God never give us a test or trials that we can't survive, so, don't get baffled coz God is always here for us.

Kaninang umaga, naka-received ako ng text mula sa Mommy ko. Nangangamusta sa amin at ni-reply ung tanong ko. Pero ang pinakagusto kong sinabi ng Mommy ko sa text, eto: (di ko na kukumpletohin ha.. hila hila ko lang ‘to don sa mga tinext ni mami)

"Mas nakakatuwang malaman na nag-uusap sila."

"Mas gugustuhin kong magkaron ng binding kahit hindi tunay na mag-ama.."

"Mas ok un love ang ibigay nya para sa bata kaysa sa pangalan.."

"Natutuwa nga ako sa anak mo kanina, maganda gising. Naka-smile paglabas ng kwarto. Hanggang pag-alis ko, walang sumpong. Sana nga laging ganon. Inspired siguro sa pagtawag nyo.."

"Sa baby sister, sabi ko kasi pagmabait siya, bibigyan nyo sya"

Hay.. walang mapaglagyan ang nag-uumapaw kong saya!!! Sa patnubay ng ating Poong May Kapal, ibibigay nya ang ligayang nararamdaman namin ngayon at alam ko, ipagpapatuloy nya kung ano mang saya meron ang family ko.

Alam ko, makakasama ko rin ang anak ko dito.

Sa dami ng kaganapan na naganap sa akin nitong nagdaang araw.. pangit man o maganda, masaya akong nagdaan ang kahapon sa buhay ko dahil kahapon na yata ang pinakamasayang araw na nagdaan sa akin nitong isang linggong nagdaan!

Pero bago simulan ang kwento ko kung bakit sobrang saya ko, sana, matapos nyong basahin ang blog kong ito dahil inuunahan ko na kayo, masyado kasi syang mahaba. Please bear with me.

Papauwi ako ng bahay galling opisina nang tumawag ako sa Pilipinas:

Ako:     Hello? Daddy! Kamusta? Anong gawa mo?

Daddy: Eto nagtotong-its

Ako:     So nasa labas ka? Sinong tao sa bahay?

Daddy: Sina Dong at angel. Bakit kakausapin mo?

Ako:     Opo sana eh.

Daddy: Saglit

Hindi ko alam kung anong ginawa ni Daddy, siguro, tumayo, naglakad hanggang sa naiabot ang telepono sa mga bata.

Dong:   Hello ate!

Ako:     O! Sino ‘to?

Dong:   Si Dong to.

Ako:     O dong, kamusta? Kamusta ang schooling mo?

Dong:   Ok lang ate. Ate may hihingin akong favor sayo.

Ako:     (Kinakabahan dahil ang favor na un eh pabili nanaman) Ano un?

Dong:   Naalala mo ung celfon na colored na iniwan mo dito? Kanino na un?

Ako:     Sa ate mutya mo. Kinuha nya eh, ipinalit sa akin un 3310

Dong:   Ganon ba?

Maya maya may batang sumisingit.

Angel:   Mommy Eriz! Si Tita Mutya may bagong shelfon galing kay ninong owen.

Ako:     Talaga? Kamusta naman ang baby ko?

Angel:   Mommy, nung baby ka pa kay Lola Mommy ka lumabas?

Ako:     Opo

Angel:   Nakita mo ba ako nung baby ako?

Ako:     Opo. Ako po kaya nag-alaga sayo.

Angel:   Talaga?

Ako:     Opo

Angel:   Nakita ko picture mo nung baby ka pa.

Ako:     Kamukha kita di ba?

Angel:   (Nanahimik dahil nag-iisip ata)

Ako:     Eh ikaw san ka ba lumabas?

Angel:   Eh saan pa, eh di sayo! Ikaw mommy ko di ba?

Ako:     Opo

Angel:   Si Daddy Dan nasan?

Ako:     Nasa bahay

Angel:   Eh nasan ka po ba?

Ako:     Pauwi ng bahay

Angel:   Nasa jeep?

Ako:     Hindi po naglalakad

Angel:   Ai poor si mommy kasi naglalakad

Ako:     Kasi po nag-iipon ako pang school mo eh. Kamusta school mo? Madami ka bang stars?

Angel:   Wala po.

Ako:     Ai, bakit wala? Pano kita bibilhan ng madaming shrek at saka ng Harry Potter?

Angel:   Eh kasi wala po akong pasok ngayon kaya wala akong stars.

Ako:     (natatawa) Eh bakit sabi ni Tita Poocihe at saka Tito Jae-jae, maraming ka daw stars sa school?

Angel:   Eh wala na nga, kasi nabura na, kaya wala na akong stars. Naliligo kasi ako kaya nabubura.

Ako:     (lalong natawa)

Angel:   Mommy, uwi na kayo ni Daddy Dan. Nonood tayo ng High Five at saka Harry Potter. Nasan ba kasi si Daddy Dan, kakausapin ko.

Ako:     Nasa bahay po eh.

Angel:   Anong ginagawa sa bahay? Sabihin mo kakausapin ko sya. Please mommy.

Ako:      O sige, mamaya tatawag ulit ako, uuwi muna ako, kausapin mo Daddy Dan ha.

Angel:   Promise mo yan ha.

Ako:     Opo promise. Tatawag kami ni Daddy Dan mamaya.

Angel:   I love you mommy eriz.

Ako:     I love you angel. Kiss ko.

Angel:   mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mmmwwaaahh! Ayan mommy madami na kiss ko ha.

Ako:     Opo. Cge na po, tawag ako mamaya. I love you. Ba-bye

Angel:   I love you, ba-bye

Syempre, pagdating ko sa bahay, nagpahinga muna nang konti, nakipag-asaran kay Dan, kumain ng tanghalian at nakipag-asaran ulit. Late man naming tinawagan ang anak ko, naging masaya pa rin naman ang pag-uusap.

Kabilang Linya: Hello?

Ako:                 Daddy!

Daddy:              O! bakit?

Ako:                 Daddy, si Angel? Kakausapin kasi ni Dan.

Daddy:              Saglit

Pero habang hinahanap ni daddy si angel, kinakausap muna ni daddy si dan. Nang makita si Angel, eto bungad nya.

Angel:               Tita poochie, nahihiya ako.

Tita Poocihie:    Sige na kausap mo na daddy dan mo

Daddy Dan:      Hello pam!

Angel:               Hello! I LOVE YOU DADDY DAN!

Daddy Dan:      I love you too. Anong gawa mo?

Angel:               (nagkwento na ng nagkwento)

Maya maya..

Angel:              Daddy, may kapatid na  ba ako?

Daddy Dan:      Wala pa eh.

Angel:              Bakit wala?

Daddy Dan:       Eh hindi pa binibigay ni Lord eh

Angel:              Daddy, gusto ko baby girl ha

Daddy Dan:       Bakit baby girl?

Angel:              Kasi tatawag ko sa kanya Boo (at nagkwento pa ulit ng nagkwento hanggang sa mapagod)

Angel:               Ba-bye Daddy Dan! Ba-bye Mommy Eriz! I love you Daddy Dan! I love you Mommy Eriz!

Hay.. nakakaiyak di ba? At ang sarap marinig sa anak mong nagsasabing mahal ka nya! Hindi ko ma-explain ang nararamdaman ko noong mga oras na nagsasabi na mahal ako ng anak ko. Mahal KAMI ng anak ko. Iba ang paki-ramdam. Aside from it. Naramdaman ko kung gaano kami kamiss ng baby ko. Kung gaano ka-welcome si Dan kay Angel at si Angel kay Dan. Masaya akong nakikitang magkasundo ang dalawang mahal ko sa buhay.

Hay.. Cant wait the day na makasama ulit namin ang baby namin.

2 days back, I was in full energy. And in those 2 days, I always asked God to give me more strength in everything that I am doing. 2 days of late night sleeps (o baka nga early morning sleeps na eh) and then, have to wake up as well as early as I could para naman pumasok sa work. But still I'm in my full energy and kicking! Sabi ko nga kay Nanay Lei, "Ok lang na magpuyat at mapagod! I am just giving HIM back all the blessing that HE gave me these past few days and months.. kaya no problem! Serve kung serve!".

But today morning, I feel so tired and sad.. para bang naramdaman ko ang pagod na dapat na naramdaman ko noong past 2 days. I suddenly feel exhausted for some reasons.

Nakakahinayang lang kasi na after all the things that you're doing, for all the efforts that you have done eh you will see your anakis na walang gana. Feel dull or having lots of reasons just to refrain from the activities, which are totally opposite of what I expected. I can't even see my "anakis" the way I am. Even the bonding that I and my middle household had.

Natatandaan ko pa, with my middle household, wala kaming pinalagpas na activities ng Singles For Christ during our Batch. Kahit walang pera, GO SAGO kaming lahat! Kinareer namin talaga ang pagiging SFC and kahit anong activities na dumating wala kaming inatrasan. Sama sama kami san man mapadpad.

Hay... you really can't please everyone to be exactly as what you are or how you want them to be.

I don't want to meddle things naman with my anakis' private life. Kasi, even I got a private life and I don't want anybody to go and intrude with it. Lalo na on the times that I wanted to get alone or to be with my God's Greatest Gift. Kaya lang, ang kinalulungkot ko lang is why they can't be more active in SFC?  

Is God trying to challenge my faithfulness to him? He knows that these children are one of my weaknesses. Hay.. God has its own reasons why these things are happening..

Through blog hopping, one blog caught my attention.. Not because of whom the author is or what the blog skin looks like, it is all about the content of her updated blog..

She says this... Honestly, I really don't get what she exactly wanted to say. But one thing I am sure is, GOD NEVER SAYS NO to us. HE only answered us a YES and WAIT.

And the bible says from...

Luke 11:9-10
Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, it will be opened.

Practically speaking, you will never ask some things that you don't want. Obviously, you're asking for some things because that is what you want, aiyt???

Have you tried to ask some things that you don't want? Well, I bet not, coz no reason at all for you to ask for some things if you doesn't want to.

And to be fair with her, part of her blog is true.. People used to decide without thinking and people used to do stupid things but honestly speaking, things got its own reasons...

But at the end of the line, it's still her blog, her opinion and her right to express everything under the sun the way it is.

This response of mine is just a simple view and belief, nothing personal.

Lesson: Ask and learn to wait. Follow and accept what God's will for you...

Ilang taon na rin ang nakakalipas at ilang taon na rin sinubukan ng panahon ang pagiging magkaibigan namin. Sa dami ng kaibigang nagdaan sa akin, masasabi kong "sila" ang kasa-kasangga ko sa lahat! Ilang tawanan na rin ang napagdaanan namin at ilang luha na rin ang nabuhos namin pero andito pa rin kami, magkakasama. Subok na ng panahon!

Syempre, sa mga ganitong klaseng pagkakaibigan, di naman mawawala ang tampuhan! Ilang beses na rin kaming nagkaroon ng tampuhan pero salamat sa Diyos dahil hindi nya hinayaang mabago ng mga tampuhang iyon ang mga pagsasama namin.

Mommy Jho - ang pinakamadaldal naming ina.. kanino pa ba kami magmamana ng kapasawayan kundi sa iyo lang naman di ba? Maraming salamat sa mga oras na nilaan mo sa akin, sa mga panahong kailangan ko ng taong makikinig sa akin at sa mga panahong sobra akong nagdadalumhati. Salamat sa pasensya at tyagang inilaan mo sa akin noong panahong nag-o-automatic shutdown ako. Salamat sa pag-iintindi at pag-aalaga sa akin. Mame, salamat.. salamat.. love you!

Mama Che - ang red ballpen ng grupo. Ma, kahit nawawala wala ka na sa grupo dahil sa sobrang busy mo na sa trabaho at sa SFC, salamat. Salamat dahil sa isang twag ko lang, ano man ang ginagawa mo, sure akong makikinig ka sa pagsusumbong ko at pag iinarte ko. Mama, miss you na.. Miss ko na rin ang mga nagdaang kasiyahan ng grupong kasama ka. I love you mama.

Ati Ying at Ate Yong - ang aming "kabute".. sa mga advices na nabibigay nyo sa grupo, sa bawat salitang nabibitawan nyo, maraming salamat!

Bunso Thea - the youngest one. Bunso!!! Musta ka na jan? Miss na kita. Miss ko na lambing mo sa akin. Miss ko na ung pagtawag mo para humingi ng advise at kung ano ano pa. Miss ko na ang accent mo! Miss ko na ung mga kalokohan natin. Hay.. it is simply sobrang miss lang kita. Ingat ka palagi jan bunso, miss you.

Kapatid na Lee - the sensitive one.. kapatid! Tila di tayo pinaghihiwalay ng tadhana.. pero kahit magkasama tayo sa Upper, nagpapasalamat akong ikaw ang aalalay sa akin pagdating ng panahon... Salamat at hindi mo ko iniwan ng tuluyan sa ere noong panahon sinusubok tayo ng tadhana. Maraming salamat sa mga advices, sa pakikinig at kahit "minsan" talagang hindi magtugma ang pananaw natin. Salamat. Ingatan mo ang mga anak ko, na ngayon ay anak na natin at sa susunod ay magiging anak mo na lang. Ipagpatuloy mo ang paglilingokod sa "KANYA" na nagbigay sa atin nang pagkakataong magkasama tayo at makilala ang isa't isa. Ingat sis! Labs u!

Anak - Ate Gina - ang "clown" ng barkada... Ni minsan, di ko nakitaang umiyak ang taong ito pero sa unang pagkakataon, ako lang pala ang makakapagpaluha sa kanya. Kaya nga di ko ito makalimut-limutan! Salamat sa mga stories mong nakakatawa, salamat sa mga late reactions mo at salamat sa pagshe-share mo ng kung ano ano. Salamat din dahil isa ako sa mga taong napagsasabihan mo ng hinanakit mo sa mundo. Salamat salamat. Salamat kasi kahit hndi ako kasama sa mga special persons sa buhay mo eh palagi kang nanjan para pawiin ang kalungkutan ko. Salamat sa mga conclusions na napagsasaluhan natin at salamat sa pagsalo ng mga pang-aasar ko sayo. Sarap mo kasing asarin at lambingin.Love you po! Mwah!

At ang huli, sa aking magiging pinsan, Elie - the "crying lady".. Kamusta ka naman? Im sure happy ka naman sa buhay kahit patuloy ka pa ring sinusubok ng pagkakataon. Masaya akong makita kang masaya higit pa sa inaakala ko. Masaya akong nakilala kita at masaya akong nakasama kita. Si Elie na yata ang masasabi kong pinakamalapit na tao sa buhay ko na kahit kaduluduluhan ng kuko ko eh alam nya. Sa tagal na inilagi ko sa lugar na ito, sya ang bukod tanging nakakakilala sa kung sino ako. Ang nakakaalam ng pagkatao ko at mga pinagdaanan ko sa buhay. Salamat dahil hanggang ngayon ay nandyan ka parin sa tabi ko (kahit di ka binigyan ni gina ng pagkakataong makahiga sa kama gaya ng napag-usapan). Maraming salamat sa malalim na pag-iintindi at pag-uunawa sa mga kapasawayan ko. Maraming salamat sa luha at tawanan na ating napagsaluhan. Salamat! Salamat! At kahit masyado akong excited sa birthday mo at sa ilang taon nating pagiging magkaibigan eh hanggang ngayon eh nako-confuse pa rin ako, eh, lovee na love kita (di nga lang halata.. hehehe.. wak ikaw galit ha! Churi .. churi.. confuse lang talaga ako! Mwah! Mwah! Peace na tayo!)

Sa ORIGINAL HOUSEHOLD KO, maraming salamat sa inyo. Miss ko na kayo kaya ako nakapagsulat ng ganito. MISS ko na ang mga panahong magkakasama tayong nagpupuyat, nagko-coffee, at nagkwekwentuhan. Miss ko na ang laglagan natin at asaran natin. Ang mga kaibigan kong alam kong thru thick and thin eh di ako iiwanan sa ere. Miss ko na talaga kayo..

Pano ko ba sisimulan ang blog kong ito? Sa dami ng mga ideang pumapasok sa isip ko, hindi ko alam kung anong uunahin ko at kung pano ko sisimulan.

Hay.. Dahil wala na naman si Amo, eto ako, nagbabasa ng sarili kong blog! Marami rami na rin pala ang naisulat ko... at marami rami na rin pala ang mga kwentong naishare ko sa inyo.

Well, dahil sa pagbabasa ko, ang dami ko palang gustong isulat. Ang dami ko ring gustong sabihin.

Ilang years na nga ba ako dito sa Dubai??? 4 years??? Hmmm... Oo! 4 years na nga ako! Pero, kamusta naman ako matapos ang apat na taon?

Well, still alive and kicking pero hindi pa rin ako ganon ka-successful sa carreer. But nweiz, im still thankful dahil may job ako, aiyt???

So ano nga ba ako matapos ang 4 years??? Hmmm... Isa na akong Active Member ng Singles for Christ and serving them for almost 2 years. Isa na akong Household Leader and soon, magiging member na rin ng Couples for Christ.

Sa work, ako pa rin naman ung Corporate Secretary ng General Manager ng Redha Al Ansari Exchange Est. and after 4 months, eh iiwan ko na rin sila dahil akong magbabalik estudyante na ulit! Taking up AUTOCAD (I don't know which version), Primavera, 3D Max and Photoshop Advance. Bakit??? Kasi gusto ko ng magpalit ng linya! Kahit man lang designer. Sa mundong ito, lahat namn pedeng  pag-aralan pedeng matutununan. Meron nga dib a, nursing graduate pero sa sales sila! Iba naman, care giver ang course pero secretary. Di mo naman alam kung anong mangyayari sa buhay mo, kaya nga may salitang "aral" para pag-aralan ang lahat.

Sa buhay, well, eto isa na nga akong MRS. DAN TORRES.. At soon magiging ina ng maraming anak! Sabi kasi nung nag conduct ng pre-cana namin, "kung ilan ang ibigay sa inyo ng Panginoon, tanggapin nyo. "Sya" ang nagplaplano sa buhay natin, hindi tayo". Well, AMEN TO THAT! Planado na kasi ang buhay natin nasa sa atin na lng kung sa paanong paraan natin tatanggapin.

Sa pag-iisip, hay! I can say na emotional pa rin ako pero more tough and more matured! Sabi nga sa akin nila lilai, "Titang Tita" na raw ang dating ko kapag nag-aadvice o kaya nag sasalita. (Tita kasi tawag namin sa mga Couples for Christ) Well, saka nyo na lang akong tawaging TITA kapag active member na ako ng Couples for Christ at iniwan ko ng tutluyan ang Singles for Christ (for sure, kahit sa panaginip nyo, di ko pa rin iiwan ang Singles!!! Kaya never nyo kong matatawag na tita, unless na lang kung pati kayo nasa Couples na at ibang batch na ng Singles ang tatawag sa akin).

Hayyy.. parang bitin ang blog kong ito, wala kasi sa hulog ang isip ko dahil ilang beses akong naiistorbo ng trabaho ko! (hehehe... sabi ko na nga ba eh! Mag freelance na lang ako! Hmmm, di bale malapit nay un!!!)

Nwei, sa susunod na wento ulit! Dami ksing nasa utak ko at hindi ko na alam kung pano ko pakakawalan ang mga topics o ideyang nasa utak ko. Pahinga muna, mamaya ulit!

God Bless!!!

Ted Allen, the food and wine specialist for Bravo's television show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy developed six signature seasonal non-alcoholic drinks that incorporated sparkling Perrier bottled water.

Perrier Mimosa
1 1/2 cups Perrier, chilled
1/2 cup freshly squeezed orange juice, chilled 4 fresh raspberries or 4 frozen grapes
Method: Divide the orange juice between two champagne flutes and top with Perrier. Garnish with two raspberries in each glass.

The Garnet
2 ounces pomegranate juice
6 ounces Perrier
One cube of frozen orange juice
Four sprigs of mint
Method: Crush one sprig of mint in each of two rocks glasses. Add pomegranate juice and orange-juice cube. Top with Perrier and garnish with additional sprig of mint.

Chai Chiller
One cup strong Chai tea made with Perrier (black tea with cardamom, cinnamon, ginger, black pepper, cloves, and star anise).
1 Tablespoon sugar, or to taste
Two cups chilled Perrier
Slice of lemon
Method: Brew a cup of tea according to package directions. Add sugar to hot tea; blend. Chill completely. Divide between two highball glasses, and top with one cup Perrier each. Garnish with lemon slice.

Country of Origin: France

Region: Southern France

Place Name: Vergeze

Established: 1863

Perrier became an intrinsic part of an active, healthy American lifestyle in the late 1970's. Thanks to the marketing efforts of Nestlé Waters North America Inc., social drinkers started ordering Perrier instead of a cocktail or soft drink. The brand's popularity grew as a refreshing, all-natural, calorie-free alternative beverage.
Imported in the U.S. since the turn of the century, Perrier was first bottled in Vergeze, in the south of France, in 1863. Perrier continues to be bottled at the original source in Vergeze. In April 1985, Perrier with A Twist of natural lemon, lime, or orange flavor (all calorie-free) was introduced in the U.S. These well-liked flavor varieties helped revolutionize natural beverage refreshment.

One of the frequently asked questions of Perrier is, "Is it naturally carbonated." Perrier responds: "One of Perrier's most distinguishing attributes is its carbonation, which comes from a naturally occurring source found deep beneath the spring. This begins as volcanic gases, trapped within the geologic strata. Originally, these natural gases met and mingled together with the spring underground, rising at a constant pressure and temperature (60 degrees Fahrenheit). Up through the last century, in fact, they formed a cool, bubbling pool ("Les Bouillens") in which locals and health-seekers often bathed. "A desire for consistency, plus Perrier's growing public demand as an international beverage, led French scientists to devise a more efficient means to capture the water's perfect balance of minerals and carbonation in the bottling process. Both the water and natural carbonic gas are now captured independently. They come from isolated points at different depths, within the same geologic formation. Before they come together for bottling, a filter is used to remove any natural impurities in the gas. "Once combined in the bottling process, the level of carbonation found in a Perrier bottle is exactly as it is at the spring."

Related Link: Ang Version ko ng Perrier

Masyado atang maaga si Amo ngayon?? Buti na lang kahit late ley-tan ang drama ko, eh nauna pa rin ako kay Amo... Hmmm, pano ba naman kasi, anong oras na rin ako natulog dahil sa activities na ginawa namin kagabi!

Ang galing talaga ni Lord! Magtiwala ka lang sa kanya, ibibigay nya sayo kung ano mang kahilingan mo. Parang kung anong nangyari sa akin kagabi. Before this blog, I was so down and feeling empty, thinking that no one's waiting for me at home, pero ng dahil sa prayer ko, hindi natuloy ang lakad nung isa sa mga kaibigan ko. Bonus pa ni Lord sa akin, ung gusto kong makasama ang iniwan nya sa akin. Bakit sya? Kasi alam kong wala akong lungkot na mararamdaman pag sya ang kasama ko. Well, talent na nya ata un (joke!). Actually lahat naman sila, syempre, gusto kong makasama, pero sa mga oras na un, mas gusto kong kasama sya dahil kung ung isa ang iiwan sa akin ni Lord, nakush! Baka mag-emote kami parehas. Sa mga pagkakataon na gusto mong mag-emote, "sya" ung tamang tao para don pero kung ayaw mong mag-emote at gusto mong makalimot sa mga lungkot na nararamdaman mo, the "other sya" naman ang dapat.

Oh well, ang bilis ng response ni Lord di ba? At dahil nga sa walang lakad ang aking "friendship", well, ayun, umuwi na ako. Pagdating sa bahay, sinamahan nya kming kumain ng masarap na sopas na luto ni "soon to be my couz".

Habang nagkwe-kwentuhan, nag-iisip kami kung anong mga planong gagawin namin after kong kumain, hanggang sa mai-open nya ang isang kwento na kung saan eh nakakarelate ako. Naging biktima din sya ng matalas na pananalita pero syempre, depensa ko naman agad kay friendship na di nya kasalanan kung ganon man sya ka "attractive" di ba? Kasama non eh ang ibat iba pang pambobola (hehehe, joke!). Hanggang sa napag-usapan naming ung mga bagay bagay regarding sa isa naming ka-sis na napromote. We came up to one generalization..

"We don't have the right to ask HIM why.. Coz He's doing and giving us what we only asked. Sometimes, in our prayer, we used to pray our hearts desire, but what we are not aware of is that our heart desire is to give whatever prayer or heart's desire of others.

If we want to have the same blessings as what others have, all we need is to ask HIM. Huge but be specific."

Magulo ba??? Basta! Kung ano mang lesson ng nangyari kagabi, well, kami na ni friendship ang nagkakaintindihan don! Hehehe.

Galing talaga. Now I know why God let me feel that kind of emptiness or sadness, para marealize ko kung anong kulang at kung anong mali ko. It is really, EVERYTHING HAS ITS OWN REASON.

Bakit Videoke ng Hunter X Hunter ang title nito? Kasi after naming marealize ang mga mali naming, nag-videoke kami, sabay nood ng hunter x hunter. Ganda di b?

by Y And T

I thought I did what's right

I thought I had the answers

I thought I choose the surest road

But that road brought me here

So i put up a fight

And told you how to help me

Now just when i have given up

The truth is coming clear

Chorus 1:

You know better than i 

You know the way

I've let go the need to know why

For You know better than I

If this has been a test

I cannot see the reason

But maybe knowing

I don't know is part of getting through

I tried to do what's best

But faith has made it easy

To see the best thing i can do 

Is to put my trust in You.

Chorus 2

For, You know better than i 

You know the way

I've let go the need to know why

For You know better than I

Coda:

I saw one cloud and thought it was a sky

I saw a bird and thought that i could follow

But it was You who taught that bird to fly

If i let You reach me

Will You teach me.

(Repeat Chorus )

For, You know better than i 

You know the way

I've let go the need to know why

I'll take what answers you supply

You know better than I

Lord,

Alam ko po na ang lahat ng kaganapan sa buhay ko ngayong araw na ito ay may mga kadahilanan. Kung bakit kinailangan ko ihinto ang isang bagay. Kung bakit wala si Dan dito. Kung bakit eto ang benefits na nakukuha ko at kung bakit ako naiinis.

Alam ko po na ang lahat ng ito ay para rin sa magandang planong inihahanda nyo sa akin.

Lord, tulungan nyo po akong maging mapagpasensya. Tulungan nyo po akong makuntento kung sa anong blessings na meron ako na nagmula sa inyo, iienjoy ito at magpasalamat dahil binigyan nyo ako ng mga blessings na ito. Tulungan nyo po akong matutong maghintay at hwag mag madali.

Lord, tulungan nyo po akong alisin ang mga maling nararamdaman ko ngayong araw na ito, at tulungan nyo po akong maging masaya at huwag manglumo sa mga oras na ito.

Panginoon, ang lahat ng ito ay itinataas ko sa inyo.

Maraming salamat po.

Amen.

Bakit kaya ganito ang pakiramdam ko ngayong araw na ito? I feel so empty, drained, bare, exhausted at kung ano ano pang similar or synonyms ng mga salitang yan.

I hate myself whenever I feel this way. Pakiramdam ko, I wasn't blessed at masyado akong nagseself pity, which is I know MALI kaya nga ayoko ng ganitong feeling.

Masyado ko na namang kasing minamaliit ang sarili ko, knowing na dati, to the highest level ang confidence ko. Dami kasing naka-apekto sa buhay ko ngayong araw na ito.

Una, gaya ng nasabi ko sa blog kong ito, wala kasi si Dan, tapos wala rin sila Gina at Lei sa bahay kaya wala akong aabutan sa bahay.

Pangalawa, di naman lingid sa inyo kung anong hirap ang pinagdadaanan ko sa trabaho ko. Im working for almost 3 years in this company pero until now, wala paring growth ung career ko, kaya nga nag-hahanap ako ng work that can compesate my needs di ba. Tapos malalaman mo, ung friend mo, na kakalipat lang ng company, eh may increase na at ang malupit pa non, mas mataas pa sa sahod ko ang sahod nya. I know, I should be happy and thankful for her coz finally, she's gaining a right salary and sabi ko nga kanina, she deserves it.

Pero sorry ha, alam kong mali nga eh pero di ko maiwasang huwag mainggit. Nanglulumo kc ako for that news kasi nga ang tagal tagal ko na pero ung mga benefits na nakukuha ko eh walang pinagbago. Di ko talaga maiwasang wag i-compare. Although, blessed naman ako sa asawa ko kasi he has all the benefits naman kaya lang syempre, iba pa rin kung ikaw mismo ang kumikita di ba?

Pangatlo, hay.. dahil sa wala akong magawa ditto sa office, nagview ako ng nagview sa friendster friends ko. Until I came up to one profile na talagang ikinagulat ko. Actually, not the profile itself but what the comment is. Nainis ako kasi until now, di pa rin "sya" nagbago. She still the same girl that I've known.

By the way, I made a tough decision ngayon (tough nga ba? O tama lang na itigil ko na dahil hindi na healthy!). Well, I just hope di ko na gawin un just to get other information.

Eto nga lang ba??? Alam ko marami pa pero cant find enough words to explain how I feel right now.

*** Sigh ***

Hay.. Its been exactly 2 hours and 14 minutes na akong nakatunganga sa harap ng PC. Kung sa Technical Words, well, "IDLE". Ewan ko, pero ilang araw na rin ang lumilipas at wala paring pumapasok sa isip ko na kahit anong story o blog na pedeng gawin.

Yesterday night, sabi ko sa asawa ko, gusto ko ng magbitaw sa trabaho dahil sobrang napapagod na ako. Tinanong nya ako kung ano namang gagawin ko kapag nagresign ako. Mabilis pa sa isang sigundo ang sagot ko na gagawa na lang ako ng story o libro gaya ng pocket books. Tinawanan nya lang ako, sabay tanong kung sino namang magbabasa ng sinulat ko. Syempre, sagot agad ako, "Si Gina... For sure sya yung kaunaunahang makakabasa ng mga sulatin ko at kaunaunahang fan ko." Nangiti lang ang asawa ko sa sagot ko, akala siguro nagbibiro ako. Pero ang totoo, seryoso ako! Magkaron lang siguro ako ng sarili kong laptop o kahit desktop na lang, malamang makakagawa talaga ako ng sarili kong nobela out of different experience sa love, family, friendship or anything under the sun.

Teka, baka makalimutan kong i-justified why I mentioned Gina's name. Well, of all of my friends na meron ako, "sya" lang yung bukod tanging nag-tatanong ng update ko sa pagsusulat. Sya lang ang nakaka-appreciate ng mga sinusulat ko (well may iba ring nakaka-appreciate but of course, sa lahat, sya yung pinaka). At ang pinaka-malupit pa don, sa aming lahat, sya lang yung may time magsulat at magbasa, kaya for sure, kahit papaano may kikitain pa r