I've spent half my life looking for
the reasons things must change
And half my life trying to make them stay the same
But love would fade like summer into fall
All that I could see was a mystery
It made no sense at all

The will of the wind
You feel it and then
It will pass you blowin' steady
It comes and it goes
And God only knows
You must keep you sails on ready
So when it begins get all that you can
You must befriend the will of the wind

I've spent so many hours thinking
'Bout the way thing might have been
And so many hours trying
To bring the good times back again
And so it goes for lonely hearted fools
They let their days just slip away
Until they give into

Chorus

So when it begins get all that you can
You must befriend the will of the wind

As usual.. I missed someone from my past and I really can't even help myself not to think of him nor to keep bringing back our past!

The first time I saw him was on year 1998. He's my classmate in my first sem in my first year in college. A friend of my friend then became my friend and became my boyfriend.

I remember when the first time he says he likes me, using the word "tape" just to express his feelings. Funny aiyt? I was looking for love songs in a cassette tape that time, and he is one of the people I asked to. Out of no where, he replied me this, "I don't have a love song cassette tape but I have my other tape." Through curiosity, I ask him what tape he has, and he replies me, "Tape kita". In English translation, he used tape as an equal meaning of TYPE where similar meaning of crush or like in most of Filipinos.

Without taking it seriously, he started courting me with my conditions that I wanted to be courted at home not outside home. I even asked my mom's permission if he could come at home to court me. My mom just can't believe that someone's admiring me on almost first month of my first sem on my first year in college.

August 07, 1998 - after 3 months of courting, I finally gave him my yes to him.

My very "first" serious relationship that last for almost 3 years. Lots of precious moments to be kept and I may say some sad stories and problems also been shared.  It was nearly our 3^rd year when the relationship finished. I was planned to leave our home country after college where he really disagrees, and for that reason, he left me.

Year 2001, Month of May, a year after, again, I met him... He was my classmate on my Thesis A. My "first subject" on my first sem in 4^th year. I thought after the break up, I would never see him again. I thought, there's no feelings to be shared again but I was wrong, after seeing him on my first day in school, I decided to make my first move, my first move to bring him back, to bring our relationship back but it ends to nothing.

Year 2002, Month of March, again, our path crossed once more. I wasn't expecting to share my last days in college with him. But still, after those happy days being with him, ends to nothing.

Year January 2003, I left our home country, without looking back the past. I am carrying my future plans with the only angel in my life.

13 December 2004, an email came to me from him. A forwarded email that gives way to have an update to each other, giving way to open again the closed chapter of my book with him until 07^th October 2005, 5 days before his birthday, again, I lost him, he stopped communicating with me and he's gone without saying goodbye to me.

2007 comes from January until the Month of May, I used to see him in my dreams.. I used to hear the songs we used to sing, the "song" that makes me remember of him. I used to open my emails hoping that he emailed me but nothing was there, I was troubled and bothered for no reason why.

May 26, 2007 - He stops visiting me in my dreams maybe because it was the day I surrender myself to someone i love aside from him.

Then 18^th July 2007, Wednesday.. When I tried to open my YM in my email add, adding me up from a familiar name surprised me.

And now, reminiscing the past with him, reading the email we had, makes me feel sad.. yet happy coz after all those years that goes by, I still have you, though not as what I dreamed of but a friend that always there for me and "never let me down".

Missing you..